We suck as parents today.
In general parents today let their kids float.
Things We Fail at in Parenting.
Letting boys be boys.
I have five of them. Trust me, they do not need help being boys. They need help being future men.
We are training up the future men of this world, and we take that seriously. Our boys are clean, clean cut, and hard working… Whether they like it or not.
Letting boys sit around all day.
My “Mommy Sense” (similar to Spider-Man’s ‘Spidey Sense’) kicks into over drive when I see my boys sitting on the sofa during the day.
I immediately start asking, did you do this, did you do that?
Sorry. Boys should not sit unless they are on the toilet.
Letting my boys have their own style of dress and hair.
Future men worthy of serving God, loving their wives, running their businesses, etc should be others centered.
If they grow their hair to their tush, drop their waist line to reveal undies, and pierce anything they can, then they will cause “grandma” to feel uncomfortable and cross the street to avoid contact with them. Not acceptable.
While I’m all for freedom of expression, my boys express themselves in a boring way physically and that will give them an edge.
Expecting teenage years to be Easy.
We expect the teenage years to be hard because we will make them hard.
- Hard to disrespect us,.
- Hard to disobey the house rules
- Hard to live in our house and break our rules,
- hard to break things like curfews,
- Hard to be a glutton.
Yep. Teenage Years will be hard.
Moms and dads, if you have boys join us at sucking to raise them to be wimpy, lazy, self centered men.
If you have little girls, suck at raising them to be focused on selfies, self, make-up, and sexuality.
We need to suck at parenting “today” and excel at parenting for tomorrow.
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Teenagers need the help, guidance, and strength of their parents even more than toddlers do at times. The transition from middle schooler to adulthood is like running a medieval gauntlet.
Letting them make their own mistakes in their own educational journey should not mean we “Let Them Utterly Fail”. While we cannot complete their homework assignments for them, we need to stay on top of our teens. Some students flourish during this time and become “Captain of their Own Destinies”- even conquering the world. But, many students put on a realistic smoke screen that implies that they have the world by the tail, but are drowning in the amount of responsibility and work required in their life. By the time parents become aware of the fact that their students are struggling, they are facing a mountain of makeup work. Not fun on any continent.
We stay on top of our kids. Continue to monitor their eating and sleeping habits. Maintain (or regain) parental control over things like tv and screen time so that we help them learn to manage these time-vacuum activities. While each family establishes what is acceptable to them, parents should be in control. Many teens need us to be firm over these things so they can safely flourish. Not doing acceptably in school should dictate less “fun time” with technology, social media, and texting.
Be willing to go the distance WITH our kids. They are struggling in math? Either tutor them or find them one. Sit at the table while they finish their assignments. Model what it looks like to be confused, but to press through confusion to comprehension. There are adults who are willing to sit and mentor/coach not only our kids, but us parents as well. If you do not understand an assignment, concept, or assignment reach out and find help. Even You tube can be a great resource!
Some kids will be easy to guide, others will be challenging, but all of our kids need us. They need to know that they are not stranded on a deserted island, abandoned to figure out how to create a flowchart demonstrating how to name a chemical formula from its scientific name, write an expository essay, or solve a quadratic equation alone. There is a whole team of adults, teachers, and mentors ready to help them, but first they need us. Do not be intimidated by the amount or subject of material they need to assimilate. Let them see you confused. Let them see you research solutions. Let them see you ask for help. Let them protest as you take them to a tutor.
Just do not give up and let go.
God gave us the responsibility to secure their parachutes, no matter how loudly they protest!
Let’s Be Honest: Do the kids have a healthy glow on their faces from spending hours outside playing every day?is a post from Bekki @ A Better Way to
Homeschool where we learn to train our children to become lifelong
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I can almost say, “YES!” to this one. A fellow homeschooling mom shared an article about schools in Finland comparing them with our wonderful educational system in the United States. Interestingly enough, Finland’s kids have the highest test scores, yet their kids spend much less time in an actual classroom each day.
In Finland, the kids spend a short amount of time studying a subject and then they are sent outside for a 15 minute recess. Rain or Shine. I immediately tweaked this to apply to my household of boys.
Multiple times a day during “school” I send my boys outside to play. At first there was almost a full scale revolt. I didn’t realize how much I had chained them to the kitchen table until I began sending them out during school.
- They are getting plenty of exercise.
- They are starting to get along better on a more consistent basis. (Except right this second. One child is copying one of his younger brothers and it has caused some drama, but no one is perfect). The boys are basically best friends most of the time. The rest of the time they act like little tyrants, giving me plenty of time to practice patience and creative parenting. Anyone else in my boat?
- That healthy glow is not photo-shopped. The kids not only seem happier, but they look healthier as well. There’s nothing quite like a daily dose of fresh air.
I found that over the years this is one of those areas that I overlook and neglect. There is always one more book to read, one more paragraph to write, a few more math facts to perfect, chores to be done, and errands to be run. The simplicity of letting the kids get outside and play wasn’t a simple thing for me.
I have to purpose to let the kids play. Its so very important, not just for their ability to get out some of that energy, but for their problem solving, creative, and eager little minds. They are better when they have played outside (OK, usually). Quite honestly, I am better when they play outside. It allows me a few moments to form an individual thought, make dinner, or simply regroup.
How about you? Do your kids get enough outside time?
Evaluating What Works and What Doesn’t.
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Be Honest: Is your home more peaceful now than when the school year began?
Most days mine is. Then there are those days…
I find that the more I have pre-thought the day, then better it runs.
The days that I invite the boys to the table and begin fumbling around for what “schoolwork” I want them to begin are chaotic and counter-productive.
What works best for me in regard to nurturing a peaceful home?…